I am sure a lot of people are gonna give me grief, but I need advice?Probably Very long...?

My husband and I have been married 3 1/2 years. We've been together for 6 1/2. We have a 2 1/2 year old daughter. That said, here are my problems:





I bought a car right after having my daughter. It was a loan of $13000. I had a 700 credit score at the time. I had never bought a car before and had no clue what I was doing and ended up not getting a warranty. During the time I had the car (9months) it broke down numerous times and I spent over $2700 in repairs. That being said, I could not make the payments and I asked them to pick up the car. They repo'd because I asked them to. The then sold the car for only $1000. Now they want $12000 paid to them. I have no money in savings. I have no money period.





When my daighter was 3 months old, I was laid off from my job. Work was very slow and they could not afford to pay me anymore. I took a big hit and couldn't find work for 3 months. When I finally found work it was $9 an hour and barely enough to make ends meet.





I worked there for 9 months and then my husband found the same fate as me and was laid off. He could not find work again for 8 months. When he finally found a job it was 50 miles away and he worked there for 6 months before they had to let him go becuase their company was failing with the economy and they lost a big client.





When I wass laid off, I needed money and I stupidly went to Cash Call. They gave me a $2500 loan and 59% interest which I didn't find out about until they mailed the paperwork. Everything had been done over the phone. I paid payments for over a year and a half and the payoff was still well over $3000 due to the interest. I finally made a big payment of $2000 but they still say I owe them $1700. I recently stopped paying them. I couldn't handle it anymore.





So now I am way over my head in debt. I have a 520 on my credit, and my husband is 560. We are trying to keep food on the table. my husband is still unemployed and on his second extension.





He has always been a smoker, and now he has picked up drinking. He isn't a drunk, by all means, but he has probably 2 24oz. beers a day. We don't have the money for him to be out spending $4-6 a day. That adds up to $120-160 a month! He also has ADHD and has a medical prescription for marijuana. He doesn't smoke around us but it is legal and prescribed to him. My biggest problem is that he spends about $60 a week on his prescription.


We are badly in debt, and he won't stop drinking or smoking and doesn't understand the amount he spends.





NOW: He is a great dad and husband other than those things. He cooks, cleans, watches the little one EVERYDAY because we cannot afford daycare. He cooks for her, gives her baths, has always changed diapers. He will have dinner ready when I get home and the house will be spotless. He works hard around the yard. He will even do anything I ask of him. If I want a snack from the kitchen, if I want a bath, he will run it. I can tell he really loves both of us and I feel like a bad person sometimes because I want to leave because of the money spending.





How can I deal with this all? What would you do? Maybe this is a plea for help. I love him, but I want him to stop drinking every night. I want him to stop with the cigarettes. He tells me: ';I don't tell you what to do!'; But I don't ever do anything. I don't get my hair done or nails done. I don't spend on anything extra. We don't have Satellite or cable. I don't even go clothes shopping. I own 3 pairs of pants, one pair 2 sizes too big. I can''t even remember the last time I bought anything for myself.





Any questions?





What should I do?I am sure a lot of people are gonna give me grief, but I need advice?Probably Very long...?
Perhaps it's time to file bankruptcy. It can't possibly do any more to your credit, it already sucks big time! Find the money for an initial consult with a lawyer, your hubby can skip his dope for a week to cover it.I am sure a lot of people are gonna give me grief, but I need advice?Probably Very long...?
wow! I don't have a solution and I don't know your beliefs, but I wanted to tell you that you will be in my prayers for sure...Good luck to you
i don't like this but your situation calls for it. file for Bankruptcy now!!!





you need a clean start. you also need to talk to your husband about his drinking and pot smoking. it is something that you guys can not afford.





good luck.
I'm gonna pray for you
You shouldn't let him go over some habits you don't like, smoking is addictive, hence- he can't just stop cold turkey and expect him to oblige in not spending. The drinking is also addictive no matter if he doesn't get very drunk.





Other than his bad habits, he seems like a great hard working and loving husband, those things should definitely overshadow his flaws, because they are more important to keep in your life. You need to just talk to him, in a loving and concerning way, tell him how you feel and how him spending worries you and makes you anxious. Talk it over and I am sure you both can come up with a solution or way to work up to a solution, don't just abondaned him over you own money anxities that don't necessarly completely involve him. Hope it works out.
Put him on a budget. Give him money for the week and let him know once it's gone, that's it. Do the same for yourself. Bills aside, you should still enjoy life. That's why you're feeling so bitter. It's because you feel like your working your butt off but with nothing but more bills to show for it. The bills will always be there. Learn how to get them paid and still have something for yourself. By no means do I mean, have a spa weekend every weekend, but doing nice things for yourself every once in a while is a must.





Also, let him know you understand he might be a bit frustrated by his current position but you're behind him and it will get better. Things will look up eventually...you just gotta hang in there.
Declare bankruptcy. It will mean you can't buy anything in credit for 5 years or so, however it will get you out of this pickle. You and your husband both need to find decent reliable well paying jobs, and start again. You will get through it
Good news! 59% is illegal because it is considered usuary!!





In most states, you don't only get the interest back you paid but sometimes you get 3x the amount they loaned you.
if you are sure you cannot get out from under one thing you can do is file bankruptcy - you can do this yourself by getting the paperwork -





the caution I have for you is that once you do it - your credit is shot for 5 to 7 years -





the good news is that all your debts go away





tough choice -





if you decide to go that route - go out and borrow all the cash you can and buy everything you can on credit BEFORE you file -


and include those debts on the filing





now that doesn't solve the problem of your husband drinking and smoking - but it solves a ';short'; term problem





as far as he's concerned - he has to be able to see the problem himself before he'll help - if doesn't he never will and you will forever have problems -
Stop paying all credit cards and loans. File for bankruptcy.


The husband smokes, you know it, let him do it. As for the beer, 2 a day is too much, talk to him and make a deal for 1 a day or 2 every other day. He's under a lot of stress too. You love him, he's good to you and all of this stress in making you not look at the big picture. Your credit score is just a number, it's not happiness. Who cares about the credit score if you're happy. Go get your nails done and stop feeling guilty. Good luck.
Don't file bankruptcy. You won't be starting a CLEAN slate. Your credit will look WORSE then it does now.





Look for a debt consolidation company OR learn to communicate with your husband about pinching pennies and working your way out of debt.





On a side note i think you two need marriage counseling.





Good luck. Work hard and stick to it.
I hate to say it, but bankruptcy sounds like a good option. You need to get him on a budget pronto!
Bankruptcy.





While it's true you are an adult etc... etc... the people who make loans are responsible for enforcing terms.





It is THEIR FAULT they loaned money to someone that cannot pay it back and a 59% interest is considered predatory and illegal in I believe 49 of the 50 states - all except Nevada. If you have paperwork about this, take it to your lawyer. They'll see settlement $$$ and might take the case on payment for pending successful outcome. They'll get all almost the money but you'll get it taken care of.





Get help getting the bankruptcy over with and give-up on your credit score and live on cash for the next seven years.





Don't give anyone a dime you don't want to; your money is yours.


They took the gamble when they made you the loan.





Loans and credit are NOT ';real money'; they are NOT cash.


They are fake, false, make-believe things those companies /invented/ to make money.


Do not harbor any guilt not paying them back. The deal is you pay it back for a good credit-score or don't for a bad one and that's IT.


You are better off ';off the grid'; anyway. It will force you to live within your means.
your life sounds very stressful, and your hubby may need cigs and beer to cope with the stress. some people cant cope well with stress; you can look down on him for that but you cant do anything about it. in fact, cigs are addictive so he cant simply give it up. it takes a lot of work to over come addictions. But, here's what you can do about it. Give yourself $20 a week to spend on yourself. You already cant pay your bills and will have to file bankrupt. Spending $80 a month isnt going to put you more in debt than you already are, and honestly its a bad idea to completely deprive yourself of everything. Depression isnt going to help your money probs, so use your $80 toward things that make you happy. Take your kid to the zoo, go see a movie with a friend, buy yourself a pair of $15 jeans from walmart, etc.
bankruptcy file around income tax time and do not give up on each other in good times and in bad times stay together no matter what and look for government assistance I don't know how you will get him to stop smoking the pot the more you nag the worse it will be I always go to garage sales or thrift stores and alot of churches give away free stuff look for food pantry's keep your chin up and pray for strength