Bad depression problem need some advice?

This probably isnt the best place to ask for help on my dillemma but i have no one else who understands me.Here we go..Im 20 years old and at the moment trying my hardest to get back on my feet financially due to being unemployed for a while and my last two jobs had terrible bosses so i left all my life ive suffered financial disadvantage which has left me in bad/complicted situations i don't even have a drivers license yet nor a learners permit because i still havent been able to afford it.Im at the moment studying (doing a course) which is 4 days a week and am on centrelink (government payments) for studying and they paid for my course.Im struggling to afford train fairs because i dont get enough because i pay board money i live out of home.So ive had to do only 4 days a week studying.There are days ive had off of school due to no money and i lie to the course co-ordinater and say i can't make it because im ill.I have been in and out of home since i was 14 years old due to my stepfather being abusive towards me and my mother ( she is still with him).I only recently moved out of home again because of his interference with my personal relationships asking questions about my sex life and the erotic modelling i used to do at a time of desperation (payment).I can't live under the same roof as him because of the snicky nosing and him being very greedy.He claims everything in the house including my mums money is only his.And during the years when major arguments have happened he has broken belongings of mine (that ive bought myself) or my mums.And recently he smashed my computer up so i now use my friends and on that night took all of mums money for himself before leaving.Whatever foods he wants for dinner mum cooks it to avoid arguments and him going wacko,at times we'd eat the same thing (mum and i) to save her cooking different meals each night.When i was living at home mum told me not to have any conversations with him because he tries to turn it into an argument he thrives on them.And that he didnt like to be left out.I never invited friends around because i was embarressed because he big notes himself and tries to impress.He hasn't many himself because he's not very liked by people.The only ones he has are marijuana smokers like himself.I know the truth is my mum will never leave him and it hurts alot.And that i couldn't live back at home again because of the way he is in alot of aspects including the safety of my privacy and belongings (he talks about my personal business to his friends).Lately i have been boiling my eyes out like crazy and just can't stop.Im also more or less having suicidal thoughts!!I think about how nice it would be being away from my family and no more pain and sadness.I have been really trying to keep my chin up but failing to do so.I don't want to have these horrible thoughts anymore and want to move on.But can't.My life is just dull and ive had a bad run of luck in it and money has contributed to most of my problems.Without seeing a counseller because i can't afford and im too embarressed to discuss all of this in person what can i do to improve the way i feel????Bad depression problem need some advice?
We need to focus on you, not the past. I would like to help. I can relate to your situation and would like to offer sugestions. Would you consider e-mailing me?Bad depression problem need some advice?
It is not unusual to have serious depression after being physically and emotionally abused. You really need therapy and a psychiatrist to be able to live again because right now, you are not. None of this is your fault even if you wanted sex, or used it to get in his good graces. It takes a long while to recover what you have been through. There are ways to get free help. Call the sexual abuse hot-line and they may be able to help. You can have a life that is without this living hell. I have done it. It has taken many years of therapy. Not only do you have depression,you have post traumatic stress disorder. You did not deserve to experience this. I am so very sorry that you went through such a devastating traumatic life. Stay away from your mother right now. She has betrayed you and does not even know it. Do not be around this man at any time. You can do this and get your rightful life back. If you have suicidal thoughts go to the ER and have yourself admitted to the hospital. They can help you immensely
Sounds to me like you could find alot of joy visiting a local church or temple or such. Even for a service just to start. I am not the church lady type. To all the naysayers reading this. But years ago, this helped me.
1. Forgiveness is the first and hardest step (trust me it's very hard) especially in situiation you are in .

2. Get religeon you don't know how much this help I recommend Christianity, Judaism, or Islam but any is good.

3. Stay at a friends house or a cousin or if you still have grandparents ( im sorry if you dont)

4. Get a job and even though it might not work but try selling things on ebay.

5. Get someone to talk to.

IF you are a Christian, Jewish, or Muslim you will get what you deserve in Judgement Day
I recommend you check out this social networking community called LetsReflect.com. There are people there going through situations similar to yours. They are great for advice and encouragement.



The process of “Self Reflection” has truly changed my life….here’s my profile. http://www.letsreflect.com/profile.php?u…



This is a journey….not a quick fix. The trick is staying positive and surrounding yourself with positive people. You are capable of great things! I believe in you. Best of luck.
Consuming the right food is vital for your health. You can try supplementing your diet with acai berry, it is not only a widely tested and acknowledged weight loss produce, it is a superfood too. There is a risk free trial offered at http://rikump.fatfreestore.info I have been using it for 2 weeks now and it's certainly having an effect!!
Consider volunteering, even from home, at first, as shown in page B, which will act as occupational therapy, help boost self esteem, keep activity out of undesirable parts of the brain, help others, and provide you with something to tell prospective employers about your activities since becoming unemployed.

Don't be too picky about the type of job; employers prefer someone already employed (or volunteering). Approach local businesses, restaurants, fast food places, hotels/motels, supermarkets, gas/petrol stations, etc. and leave your contact details, even if just jotted down on a piece of cardboard. Such places are always hiring. Keep in mind that the economy is in the process of turning around, at present, and employers will soon be hiring again in larger numbers, but at present, there can be many applications for any given vacancy. Remain resolutely optimistic, and maintain a positive mental attitude. Use the TECHNIQUE FOR COMBATING NEGATIVE THOUGHTS, on page B, as necessary. A useful counterthought is: ';Things will get better soon';. Or make up your own. Repeat if necessary. Contact your county/local mental health agency, to see what help they can provide. Sliding scale based psychological counselling is often available from Catholic counselling, the Methodist church, or Unitarian Universalists, and sometimes the United Way. You don't have to be a member. Google: ';clinics; mhmr; (your location)'; %26amp; ';free clinics; (your location)'; Also contact your local department of human services and apply for state health care. See http://www.nytimes.com/2009/11/21/health… Talk with a social worker, via your local free clinic, (Google: ';free clinic; [your location] ) or public hospital. Local is best, or (202) 408 8600. They often have useful advice, and contacts. Have a list of questions prepared, and jot down answers. Food stamps: http://www.fns.usda.gov/fsp Phone: 1800 221 5689. Check out http://www.socialsecurity.gov Dept. of Children and Families. Enquire about Medicaid Insurance. Other advice that I am aware of is to contact your local social services department and apply for state medicaid, then find a doctor who accepts it. See http://www.walmart.com/catalog/catalog.g… for generic mental health medication, at $4/month's supply, or $10/90 days; (more in CA., and 8 other US states) also try calling Target pharmaceuticals. View www.pparx.org/ and call 1-888-4PP-ANOW (1-888-477-2669), if financially disadvantaged in the USA, and seeking a bipolar medication subsidy. Also see www.needymeds.com/ %26amp; www.low-cost-rx.com/ Some pharmaceutical companies will provide medications free, or at reduced cost, depending on the circumstances of the applicant; qualification guidelines vary.